Emotional abuse on adult children still happens in this day in age.
I got a perturbing call today from my cousin. Within minutes of being on the phone she started bawling describing the emotional abuse she was enduring from her mother.
My cousin, is 45 years old.
Receiving Emotional Abuse from an unlikely place
Some people think that emotional abuse is received from bad spouses, bosses or even bad friends. The reality is that a lot of the emotional abuse actually comes from our parents. Even as adult children some parents do not know the damage they are doing to their adult children.
I think most of the cases were going on since childhood but it’s not until adulthood that we are even clear enough to understand that even though our parents hurt us they still love us. It’s strange and contradicting, but it’s all due to immaturity from the parent and what they see to be their role in the life of their adult child.
In my cousin’s case, her issue is her mom’s dislike to her husband. The primary problem is that they live together, a big no-no in my opinion.
In this article 4 reasons why you should not live with your inlaws, their reasons make total sense:
1 – Privacy
2 – Too much familiarity can breed contempt
3 – They’ll expect you to answer to them
4 – Parenting interference
An important step for my cousin is to find a place for her mother to live separately from her and her husband. But there are a few things I advised her to do before moving day comes.
Simple Steps to Take to Deal with Emotional Abuse
The first thing is for her to understand that while she cannot control her mother she can control her feelings. Just because her mother says hurtful things she does not have to engage in an argument. If she comes home from work and she sees that her mother is upset; I told her to ask her once why she is upset, if she does not answer, say “ok” and keep walking and moving about your business.
Another suggestion I made is to head out the door for a walk if the ambiance is toxic. Sometimes fresh air is all we need to bring our spirits up and let the other person fume in their own poison.
But the most important advice I gave her I think is that she needs to find a way to live separate ways and find a way to filing for divorce in Florida , even if it’s from her own mother.
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